Friday, September 19, 2008
Capitalists of the World Unite!
The Mother of All Short Covering Rallies continued today as investors rediscovered their love for financial stocks.
If you are not sure what the hell is going on, don't worry, the U.S. government will not allow capitalism to fail.
In fact, Comrades Bush, Paulson, Cox and Bernanke want to reassure you that everything is fine now that they bailed out Fannie, Freddie and AIG, coordinated a global effort to pump billions into the financial system, purged the stock market of those "evil" short-sellers and created a government agency to offload all that toxic debt sitting on the banks' off-balance- sheet books.
Welcome to "NeverFail Land" where you can now literally buy a list of financial stocks whose shares cannot be shorted. If you prefer, focus on a list of Ultra Proshare ETFs where you can make twice the daily return of the underlying stock index. The favorite one these days is the Ultra Financials Proshares (UYG), which closed up 17% today.
(Note to capitalists: Make sure to avoid any UltraShort Proshares; those are for evil communist short-selling pigs!)
Folks, don't listen to all those naysayers about how this rescue plan may add another $1 trillion to the national debt or how it will wreak havoc on in the bond market.
Don't listen to those communist hedge funds who just got clipped by these new regulations. Don't listen to all those gloomy bears warning you to be careful for what you wish for. Don't listen to those left-wing professors moralizing about the bailouts or journalists claiming capitalism in convulsion.
Bah! What do they know? A bunch of whining Marxists who can't accept the virtues of capitalism.
We are now back to the good old bubble days or as I like to call them, the good old fat Capitalista years.
Yes, capitalists of the world, unite in solidarity and rejoice as the new world order dawns upon us.
Three cheers for Comrades Bush, Paulson, Cox and Bernanke!!!
BUY! BUY! BUY!
Watch Paul Krugman on Bloomberg: "We Are Socializing American Finance". Also, read Krugman's latest blog entry, Follow the Money.